Saturday, 27 July 2013

A heart felt thank you to you all...

It took a long while to decide whether to post about my friend but I am glad I did. Everyday sees another change, skin colour, whites of the eye no longer white, more breathlessness, general weakness.

As it is the weekend, we had no plans to visit and still won't as both children are now attending to their parent. Despite saying that, both the doctor and district nurse have just left and my friend is now immobile - unexpected at this stage by everyone.

What can you do other than phone up, let them know if they need help to call and tell them you are thinking of them all. Depending how things go this weekend, we will call on Monday. It is so hard isn't it, knowing if they were an animal they would be put to sleep, yet as 'dignified' humans, we don't legally allow such things.

As you can imagine, a black cloud has descended and seems intent on hovering, and I am not talking about the thunderstorms later in the day. That said, the weather may well turn out to match the mood, who said mother nature is immune to such things?

15 comments:

  1. So awful, but remember to be kind to yourself as well xxx

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  2. Oh you've hit the nail on the head there my love...it's SO hard to watch those we care about suffer...here's hoping that her passing is as gentle as possible, on her, and on those who care about her. Sending you hugs and kind thoughts at this difficult time...

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  3. My mum and mum in law were both ill with cancer for years and I'm not sure which is worse. A long slow deterioration so that you cannot remember when they were well or a quick decline? Still thinking about you.

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  4. Fran, Kitty, S S Smallholder, Thank you. Have been round, not good at all, morphine to be given when requested. Have pointed to the family about Marie Curie, which no-one else has seen fit to mention:(

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  5. My prayers and thoughts are with you all at this particularly difficult time.

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  6. Do encourage your friends to check out your local Marie Curie Team, or the Macmillan nurses - they offer so much practical support, and because they are experienced, can often come up with practical suggestions to make things easier. I cannot speak too highly of these nurses who have supported friends here in our village as they have gone through times like this. They are so caring, and do all they can for you.
    love and prayers x

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  7. Marie and Angela, thank you for that, I have now told them about Marie Curie as no one had informed them!

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  8. A good friend and colleague came to me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that she has cancer and we sat in the middle of the kitchen at work and shed a few tears together - she's finished work this week to start treatment - we've all tried hard to make sure that she's been ok and tried to keep everything 'light'- in a strange way it's brought us all closer then we ever have been as we've been supporting her and each other- I hope you're ok and are
    getting the support you need too.....
    Hugs from me (we all need a hug at times like this) xxx

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  9. It is hard to deal with, so unfair, but having been there I can only offer my best wishes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend.

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  10. Trudie, I'm glad you could be there for your friend, she will need you in times to come. Some people walk away.
    Pam, you are right, it is so unfair but life has its moments.

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  11. I am AMAZED the GP and DN hadn't already contacted the Marie `curie, brilliant nurses, always know just what to do/say.

    It's not going to get any easier is it `Dc, but hang on in there for your friend, as I'm sure you are doing. Lx

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    1. So was I, the surgeon specialist who told the diagnosis didn't even mention MacMillan until I did. Not sure about the first palliative care appointment.

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  12. I really feel for you under this 'black cloud' and I know the feeling only too well as I lost a very close and very dear friend a few years ago. I found that the helplessness was the hardest thing to bear, I wanted to turn back time and have all our best moments again.

    (((( HUGS ))))

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  13. Thinking about you a lot DC and know how you must be feeling - not wanting to intrude on the family time your friend is rightfully having but also not wanting to be seen as uncaring. Your friend and her family know you from old and that you will always care about her. All you can do is be there when they need you. God bless.
    Patricia x

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  14. Thanks again Sue and Patricia. Now that things are so dire, we daren't disturb them anymore but have repeatedly told them that we are thinking of them and ask if they need help of any kind.

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