I don't have any advise to give here, sorry. I am merely raising the issue of whether it is possible to suffer and survive trauma. Can you move on and grow as a person, turn all that negativity into positivity?
Again, I can't speak about others except for myself and those on my course, who upon later discussion, again without them giving too much detail of their trauma, showed real positive change in their lives. Sure, we all had loops backwards and forwards, good and bad days, as such trauma rears its ugly head in very unexpected circumstances that on the surface, don't appear to have any relation.
Another lady I met on my degree course had also suffered, we kind of veered to one another over the first year. I think, outside her immediate family, I was the only person she felt safe enough to confide in, which is such a privilege. I think she felt safe, knew I would listen, not judge.
You would not believe the amount of people who summise that somehow, you must have brought it all on yourself. To be abused you must have somehow invited it, to be bullied you were a weakling or a coward for not better standing up for yourself. To have been so hated you must have been exceptionally naughty (or worse still, unlovable). What did you do to cause it! It must be your fault.
For the most part, I would suggest that if self help isn't working, that professionals should be able to. They shouldn't judge you, merely listen, help you put things into context, rather than do it for you. If you are self harming, suicidal or find it almost impossible to think positively, don't be afraid to find help. Keep finding help until you find the help that will help you.
Don't let anone put you into a box and leave you there. Find that pin prick of light and hope, kick and scream and fight your way towards it. Scrape, scrape and scrape away at it to make it brighter. Yes, there will be times when your energy runs out and the light seems further away than ever, but don't give up.